Parenting By The Book Article

STUDY 229

Proverbs 20

THE PROBLEM OF STRIFE

This is an age-old problem! Children, from an early age, learn how to strive against each other. They strive over toys. They strive over petty things. If the problem of strife is not addressed adequately, this trait may persist till adulthood!

DEALING WITH THE PROBLEM OF A STRIVING SPIRIT

Let us take time to ponder over how we may help our children deal with the problem of strife. The idea behind the word "strife" is "being quarrelsome."

"It is honourable for a man to stop striving,
Since any fool can start a quarrel." Proverbs 20:3

How may we understand and apply this text to our work of parenting?

1. Suggest the possibility of ceasing to strive

Sometimes, children say, "But I can't help it!" This is not necessarily true! It certainly is not a wise statement! It is possible to stop being quarrelsome!

2. Suggest the idea that only fools keep on being quarrelsome

Quarrels are not difficult to start! Any fool can start a quarrel! Reject the way of fools! Reject strife!

3. Suggest the way of honour instead

It takes honour to beat the problem of strife! Teach children how to have a great sense of honour from a young age. They will grow up to become people of dignity!

How does one cultivate the spirit of honour?

a) It has to do with Self-regard

How do we regard ourselves? If we do not regard ourselves as foolish people, then we will indeed walk away from the path of strife.

If we regard ourselves as people of honour, then we must practise holding up our sense of dignity!

b) Parental influence

It is important that we understand how parental influence works! When parents hold themselves in honour and dignity, children will learn how to walk in their footsteps. If children see their parents as petty and quarrelsome people, they will walk in their footsteps!

The world is full of quarrelsome people. How rare and wonderful it is to bring up children who have wholesome and honourable spirits!

Prayerfully,

Pastor Charlie